Enlightened Moments

For just this moment
I do not fear pain
though I know it will come.
Like an avalanche
thundering down a mountainside
it will come.
And I will be its witness.

In this small instant
I do not seek safety,
not in walls to guard
nor in love to affirm.
I sit defenseless and ask only,
"Show me my true face."
Then I wait and bear witness
to whatever shows itself,
Surrendered once more to the awe
of this sacred moment.

This peace is not always with me.
No, I am not one of the ones wearing the hat
that says, "enlightened one."
Like sorrow and joy, fear and hope,
gain and loss, it comes
and it goes.

Past and future pull at me.
A tendency to get lost in each
causes me to miss this moment
again and again.
The clamor of Delusion promises me
that I am this fragile, solid thing
that must be defended and promoted
at all times.

There is something that needs doing.
There is something to regret.
What does it all mean,
and what about her?
Surely these noble calls are more worthy of attention
than this still, silent moment
that has only the morning dew
to sing its praises.

Sometimes I believe you are a body
and that I am a body too.
Those are painful moments of longing,
as if all my joy was someplace else.
Then I realize we are not these bodies
and I know I cannot be separate from you.
I am you,
and that is good enough.

For just this moment
I do not grasp at the victory banner
called "enlightenment."
I sit here simply as willing witness,
a soldier having laid down her arms
a pause in hostilities
a chance to rest in "yes."

I say yes to this moment,
just as it is.
The next moment will come as it likes.
It needs no call nor shaping from me
and neither can it be averted.
I sit here as still witness,
with a prayer that when it comes
I will find the clarity to say "yes" again.

-- By Indigo Ocean