Thanksgiving

This is my first audioblog entry. Give a listen, and Happy Thanksgiving to you.

Thanksgiving Audio Blog

Spiritual Optimism

"If circumstances are bad
and you have to bear them,
do not make them part of yourself.
play your part in life,
but never forget that it is only a role."

-Paramahansa Yogananda

I found this over at the IntentBlog within a comment thread. It referred to an entirely different topic, but it rings so true with me that I just had to share it with you. And yes, I am Buddhist, but I honor wisdom irrespective of its source and Hinduism has brought much wisdom to the world.

This quote is particularly poignant to me because it answers the complaint many pessimists have about optimism. They say, "isn't optimism just ignorance, and ignorance is bliss?" They do not understand there are different reasons people are optimists. Some people's optimism is due to spiritual understanding while others cling to a rigid unwillingness to acknowledge anything that is not desirable, whether as future likelihood or current experience. The latter type of optimism can justifiably be called denial, but the first is a mark of wisdom.

The spiritual optimist recognizes that sometimes life is hard. Things don't always go the way you want, and sometimes the situation gets worse before it gets better. And even getting better may require some skillful decision-making on your part.

To follow the Christian advice "be in the world, but not of it," requires that we remember that no matter whether the contents of worldly experience are to our liking or not, we are dedicated above all else to a higher truth. We act responsibly within this world and try to bring happiness to ourselves and others, but we never take any of it too seriously. It is never worth losing hope over, for our hope should never lie within its contents in the first place.

Play your part in life with vigor, enthusiasm, and positive intention, but never forget that you are like a character in a very realistic dream. We care whether we have happy dreams or nightmares. To some degree it matters, but waking up is the only truly happy ending.

As I go through each day I engage in the Buddhist practice of Dzogchen, reminding myself that what I am experiencing is the play of Mind. I catch myself in the various roles I am playing out as frequently as I can, and watch as I then decide either to play it out or just drop it right on the spot. Either way, I repeatedly become aware that I am not the roles I habitually create for myself. This awareness grants me a freedom that no amount of manipulation of the contents of the dream could ever bring. Whether good circumstances or bad ones, whether favorable roles or painful ones, they are all equally lacking in substance beyond the confines of this dream-like world. And nirvana is here right within samsara right now, waiting for us to awaken and recognize it.

Tags: Musings, Spirituality, Optimism, Inspiration, Personal Growth

A New Dutch Meme

Thanks to reader Dutch who is offering us a new meme. Dutch now knows he needs “a loving forever home.” But he was also able to use Google to discover that he loves “a little lady named Bijou (and she loves taking off her clothes)” and “going to visit his Granny and Grampy.”

This prompted me to also go in search of what I love using the world’s number one search engine. I subsequently discovered that I love:

“Indigo loves comfort” – I sure do
“Indigo loves using attributes” - hmm
“Indigo loves being creative and making beautiful things. Enjoys finding
beauty in everything and everyone. Always good-natured and fun to be around.” – aw shucks, thx
“Indigo LOVES bananas, I think that's her favorite food, if sees someone
with a banana she will almost break her neck to get to it.” – now that’s an exaggeration
“Indigo loves Mark’s music because, “[Mark] Knopfler’s guitar playing is graceful, elegant and gritty all at once.” – how’d they figure it out?

Catch a meme. Pass it on.

Tags: Memes, Amusement

Blog Find

I was so happy to find this link to the Sakya Monastery blog. The blog's archives reveal that it started in July of this year. For two years I aspired to get non-profits I work with to maintain blogs. Every time I find one that is doing that it's fortifying. I am convinced that if you want public support the best thing to do is to keep people informed about what you are doing. Let contributors know what their dollars are going to fund on a regular basis. This blog even has a comments feature meaning you can converse with the members of the monastery. Looking forward to finding more blogs like this one in the coming years.

tags: Blogging, Buddhism,

Fun Experiment

I came across this idea on The Presurfer today. Type your name into Google with the word "needs" after it, for example, Indigo needs, then see what you come up with. I discovered that according to the world's number one search engine, I need:

"help" - Hey, no fair
"testers" - got enough of those in life, thanks anyway
"to support side by side execution" - I absolutely, unequivocably do not support execution in any configuration
"coffee" - can't take the caffeine
"Lawrence Park" - who'd of thought Google could find my soul mate for me? But who's Lawrence Park?
"a part-time accounts administrator to help out with the books" - that's the truth
"to work on its [sic] sheet handling" - I did get my first B in Home Ec because I couldn't make perfect hospital corners. Maybe there's something to this after all.
"severe pruning in winter to stay compact" – I've not gained a pound in years.

Well I guess you couldn't find a better authority on searching than Google, so maybe I should give it all some reflection.

Blog Comments

As part of the process of my separating the different aspects of my blogging into two different blogs, I have removed the comments feature from this one. This blog will now more than ever be a place for me to simply voice what is on my mind, whatever that may be, without a conversation about it. Here I play alone and whenever I feel like company I head over to the village at The Goodness Blog.

If you really want to respond to an article you see here, just send me an email to indigo(at)indigo(dash)ocean(dot)com. I reserve the right to post excerpts from any comments I receive, so if you definitely want your correspondence to be confidential, please say so in the email.

All the old comments that were here are still saved, they just aren't showing. And new posts won't collect any comments. Another way to chat with me is at the Goodness Blog, which I do participate in quite actively. I also anticipate more frequent posting on this blog. After two years of blogging, under 3 different posting systems and with 5 different blog template designs, somehow this additional change seems what I need to keep it fresh for me. Hope you like what you see.

Update 9/14/09 - Comments have just been added back to this blog; some articles can now accept reader comments.

Moving On

Today I took a nap that blessed me with amazingly vivid dreams. In the dream I was watching television, something I haven't done in a few years, and really enjoying it. I was flipping channels and seemed to be spending an entire day like that. When I woke up I started evaluating my reactions within the dream, wondering if perhaps I should go back to some of the old pass-times (things to waste time, basically) that I used to have. Maybe I was being too tight with myself.

With that thought came a lot of other old memories too. I remembered drinking red wine with a grad student I met at my campus job when I was an undergrad, and the next day the staff being angry at me for going out with him and letting him get drunk - as if I had somehow corrupted an otherwise dedicated researcher.

I remembered also using 5 pound weights to try to strengthen my arm muscles and a boyfriend commenting on what a wasted effort it was since I couldn't beat anyone with the strength built off of 5 pound weights. I wasn't building arm strength for potential battles, of course, but rather to be able to open the heavy doors on my office building more easily, carry groceries, open windows, that sort of thing. But after his comment I stopped using the weights. It was as if that idea of using strength against others as the purpose of strength, well it had some resonance within me. It touched my programming.

One by one the memories of a life of conflict, negative expectation, cynicsm, and wasted time came rolling in. I remembered the sluggishness I felt for days after drinking one glass of wine, a fog that could only be temporarily pierced by another glass, with so many wasted days in between. The feeling of hopelessness and disappointment as I was unable to accomplish anything. The weight of beef in my body. And that is when I remembered why I let go of all of that.

The past holds us as long as we hold it. Habit always has a delicious taste to it at first, but it comes at a high price when we are being seduced back towards bad habits. I hear some poisons are quite sweet to the tongue. It's what they do when they get to your belly that you have to watch out for.

Each day we wake up a new person, with infinite possibility. No matter who we were the day before, we are free to define our lives anew. Sufi poet Kalidasa writes:

Hark the new day
for it is life,
the very life of life.

In its brief course lie all the verities
and realities
of your existence.

The bliss of growth
the splendor of beauty
the glory of action.

For yesterday was but a dream
and tomorrow is only a vision,
yet today well lived will make every yesterday
a dream of happiness
and every tomorrow
a vision of hope.

Look well therefore to this day.
Such is the salutation to the dawn.

Today I took down the link to the Orphans Assistance site I worked on over the last couple years. I had such visions of what I would do for that organization, how I would update their technology and help them raise funds and awareness for the important work they do. I had wanted to start an organization helping children orphaned by AIDS myself, one that focused on building skills and self-sufficiency within home environments, not orphanages. I was so excited to find an organization already doing that very model. But after 2 years of struggle to get them to send letters from the children that can be posted on the website, getting anyone in their organization to make even one post or comment on their blog, getting any pictures of the children beyond a newsletter that was produced several years ago, I have finally let it go. I can't make someone else's organization mold itself to my vision.

This day is mine to do with as I wish, but only for me. I can't shape the world; I can only shape my world. So part of seizing the day is letting go also. We move forward with vigor and clarity, but with open hands. It is a dance, not a march. There is openess, inquisitiveness, discovery and delight.

I like taking naps. It gives me a chance to wake up twice each day.

Update 9/14/09 - Comments have just been added to this blog, and this article can now accept reader comments.

Take a Look

I decided that I am a little to attached to having a personal blog to turn this one into a collaborative endeavor. So I made this instead - The Goodness Blog. Take a look.