Feed The Vampires, Please
I just had a startling revelation after reading a 100 page book (with about 20 pages of that illustrations) called The Ever-Transcending Spirit, by Toru Sato. I'm not into all his stuff about the evolution of consciousness (isn't one Wilber on Earth enough spiritual materialism), but I found invaluable information about dealing with energy vampires.
Basically you just let the people drink. The only thing wrong with people taking your energy is when it depletes your energy. If you aren't depleted, there is nothing wrong with it. The way not to be depleted is not by withdrawing, isolating, putting up walls or trying to steal energy back, but by recognizing that all energy anywhere is your energy. You are connected to such an unlimited supply of energy you can't possibly be depleted so long as you remain open and receptive to that infinite supply.
I even got to try it out when I was half way through reading the book. I went to the store and ran into someone who went off on a rant (which was meant to be helpful at his conscious level, but was definitely an energy raid at an unconscious level) and I allowed myself to tap into the energy around me instead of just relying on that contained within my body and energy field. Quickly I realized that the most energy around me was in him, because he was all worked up about what he was trying to convince me of, and so I let myself join with his energy.
This isn't the same as stealing it back because actually we both wound up getting really energized by the experience, as well as having a really intimate interaction. . I wasn't connecting with the energy of his separate energybody, but tapping into the infinite source within him which he was not feeling. His inability to feel his own endless supply of energy was the reason he was trying to steal my energy, and I simply allowed myself to be an energy channel for him, connecting him to a deeper experience of himself.
He could feel I was deeply listening to him, and indeed really "feeling" what he was saying with complete openness. He was visibly moved by the experience and I was bouncing on air and giggling I was so full of energy as he spoke. Once I felt I'd had enough of the interaction, after about 10 minutes, I began thanking him for sharing his insights with me. Once he felt his offering was duly appreciated we changed the subject and parted after a few more minutes with the deepest sense of connection I have ever shared with this person, who I have known for 4 years without ever feeling we were on the same wavelength.
According to Sato, people take our energy in a wide variety of ways, among them: endless talk-talk-talking, usually about themselves and their life's dramas; asking for help then disagreeing with all advice offered; painting themselves as a victim to invoke pity; passive aggressively inciting strong emotional responses with no concern about the ideas being shared and the sole intent of triggering the other person; criticism; pressuring someone to change their actions or beliefs to come into alignment with one's own; long meetings in which the power holder keeps everyone's attention focused on pleasing them; and expecting others to meet one's needs with no intent of reciprocally meeting the needs of the other person.
In any of these situations we always have a choice to resist the power grab, allow the power grab, or shape the situation into a power sharing one. When we resist we argue, ignore the person, energetically close ourselves off from them (which, over time, is exhausting) or get away from them (perhaps even isolating ourselves). When we allow we may feel drained, irritable, and resentful afterward, but we avoid our fears of confrontation or offending others and are able to continue in relationship, at least until we are too depleted to do so any longer. (When you are really depleted even vampires will tend to avoid you anyway, unconsciously fearing you will try to steal energy from them!)
When we shape the situation into something new using our own responses, not requiring anything different out of the other person, is when a win-win situation that is sustainable for any amount of time occurs. When we localize our sense of self to our limited body and energy field we have a limited supply, so must protect that supply or face depletion. But if we allow our self-awareness to be broad enough to take in the whole of our environment we find ourselves energy billionaires who can afford any amount of generosity required by the situation. After all, we aren't giving energy away, we're just allowing it to flow freely within us, as is the nature of energy.
I swear this is not just theory. I actually did this and if you give it a try I think you can do it too. It's best to start with someone who doesn't actually hate you. If the energy stealing is a direct act of violence that's a different situation. But most energy theft is not with ill-intent behind it. People don't even realize consciously that they are doing it. They see themselves as energy starved and so naturally reach out to sustain themselves using anyone around, like a person who can't swim trying to save himself from drowning by grabbing onto whoever is within arm's reach. If you let them pull you down with them they will, until they can grab onto the next person. But if you lift them up and let the ocean float you both, you both win. Whenever you tap into the energy all around you, including within them as they engage intensively in whatever behavior they are using to suck at your energy, you are effectively surrendering to the greater power of the mighty ocean which will indeed carry you both to both safety and freedom.
Overcoming one of existentialism's 4 primary "inescapable sufferings" of life, it turns out you don't actually have to choose between security and freedom, not if you can learn to be an infinite energy being instead of a separate, limited physical being. Build no walls around you. Dance freely in the light, breathing deep, and giving yourself fully to life with complete abandon. You will be sustained by all that is.
(As an aside, let me state that not all of these ideas are in Sato's book, but that his book contributed a crucial understanding that helped me apply other ideas I've been working with. For example, Sato doesn't make mention of how one is to connect with more energy by being open when someone is aggressively trying to take one's energy. He just assumes you will naturally do the additional steps that are needed to make this work, probably because he has already developed unconscious mastery of doing those things himself.
He also doesn't make mention of the fact that all energy is just energy, so we don't have to be afraid of allowing ourselves to connect with a person's energy when they are agitated. If they are trying to attack you, that's a little different, as you'd have to be nearly a buddha not to be affected negatively in such a situation, but again, most energy raids are not meant as attacks. Still the person might be very agitated within themselves and only by connecting with the energy of their true being and not writing a mental story that labels their energy expression as dangerous is it possible to make Sato's approach work.
It's as if the person is cut off from their own connection to the endless source of energy and you offer your energy body as a "reconnector." You channel their own energy back to them, so they fill up without taking anything from you.)
Update 9/14/09 - Comments have just been added to this blog, and this article can now accept reader comments.
Basically you just let the people drink. The only thing wrong with people taking your energy is when it depletes your energy. If you aren't depleted, there is nothing wrong with it. The way not to be depleted is not by withdrawing, isolating, putting up walls or trying to steal energy back, but by recognizing that all energy anywhere is your energy. You are connected to such an unlimited supply of energy you can't possibly be depleted so long as you remain open and receptive to that infinite supply.
I even got to try it out when I was half way through reading the book. I went to the store and ran into someone who went off on a rant (which was meant to be helpful at his conscious level, but was definitely an energy raid at an unconscious level) and I allowed myself to tap into the energy around me instead of just relying on that contained within my body and energy field. Quickly I realized that the most energy around me was in him, because he was all worked up about what he was trying to convince me of, and so I let myself join with his energy.
This isn't the same as stealing it back because actually we both wound up getting really energized by the experience, as well as having a really intimate interaction. . I wasn't connecting with the energy of his separate energybody, but tapping into the infinite source within him which he was not feeling. His inability to feel his own endless supply of energy was the reason he was trying to steal my energy, and I simply allowed myself to be an energy channel for him, connecting him to a deeper experience of himself.
He could feel I was deeply listening to him, and indeed really "feeling" what he was saying with complete openness. He was visibly moved by the experience and I was bouncing on air and giggling I was so full of energy as he spoke. Once I felt I'd had enough of the interaction, after about 10 minutes, I began thanking him for sharing his insights with me. Once he felt his offering was duly appreciated we changed the subject and parted after a few more minutes with the deepest sense of connection I have ever shared with this person, who I have known for 4 years without ever feeling we were on the same wavelength.
According to Sato, people take our energy in a wide variety of ways, among them: endless talk-talk-talking, usually about themselves and their life's dramas; asking for help then disagreeing with all advice offered; painting themselves as a victim to invoke pity; passive aggressively inciting strong emotional responses with no concern about the ideas being shared and the sole intent of triggering the other person; criticism; pressuring someone to change their actions or beliefs to come into alignment with one's own; long meetings in which the power holder keeps everyone's attention focused on pleasing them; and expecting others to meet one's needs with no intent of reciprocally meeting the needs of the other person.
In any of these situations we always have a choice to resist the power grab, allow the power grab, or shape the situation into a power sharing one. When we resist we argue, ignore the person, energetically close ourselves off from them (which, over time, is exhausting) or get away from them (perhaps even isolating ourselves). When we allow we may feel drained, irritable, and resentful afterward, but we avoid our fears of confrontation or offending others and are able to continue in relationship, at least until we are too depleted to do so any longer. (When you are really depleted even vampires will tend to avoid you anyway, unconsciously fearing you will try to steal energy from them!)
When we shape the situation into something new using our own responses, not requiring anything different out of the other person, is when a win-win situation that is sustainable for any amount of time occurs. When we localize our sense of self to our limited body and energy field we have a limited supply, so must protect that supply or face depletion. But if we allow our self-awareness to be broad enough to take in the whole of our environment we find ourselves energy billionaires who can afford any amount of generosity required by the situation. After all, we aren't giving energy away, we're just allowing it to flow freely within us, as is the nature of energy.
I swear this is not just theory. I actually did this and if you give it a try I think you can do it too. It's best to start with someone who doesn't actually hate you. If the energy stealing is a direct act of violence that's a different situation. But most energy theft is not with ill-intent behind it. People don't even realize consciously that they are doing it. They see themselves as energy starved and so naturally reach out to sustain themselves using anyone around, like a person who can't swim trying to save himself from drowning by grabbing onto whoever is within arm's reach. If you let them pull you down with them they will, until they can grab onto the next person. But if you lift them up and let the ocean float you both, you both win. Whenever you tap into the energy all around you, including within them as they engage intensively in whatever behavior they are using to suck at your energy, you are effectively surrendering to the greater power of the mighty ocean which will indeed carry you both to both safety and freedom.
Overcoming one of existentialism's 4 primary "inescapable sufferings" of life, it turns out you don't actually have to choose between security and freedom, not if you can learn to be an infinite energy being instead of a separate, limited physical being. Build no walls around you. Dance freely in the light, breathing deep, and giving yourself fully to life with complete abandon. You will be sustained by all that is.
(As an aside, let me state that not all of these ideas are in Sato's book, but that his book contributed a crucial understanding that helped me apply other ideas I've been working with. For example, Sato doesn't make mention of how one is to connect with more energy by being open when someone is aggressively trying to take one's energy. He just assumes you will naturally do the additional steps that are needed to make this work, probably because he has already developed unconscious mastery of doing those things himself.
He also doesn't make mention of the fact that all energy is just energy, so we don't have to be afraid of allowing ourselves to connect with a person's energy when they are agitated. If they are trying to attack you, that's a little different, as you'd have to be nearly a buddha not to be affected negatively in such a situation, but again, most energy raids are not meant as attacks. Still the person might be very agitated within themselves and only by connecting with the energy of their true being and not writing a mental story that labels their energy expression as dangerous is it possible to make Sato's approach work.
It's as if the person is cut off from their own connection to the endless source of energy and you offer your energy body as a "reconnector." You channel their own energy back to them, so they fill up without taking anything from you.)
Update 9/14/09 - Comments have just been added to this blog, and this article can now accept reader comments.
posted by Indigo @ 1:29 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home