The Goodness Blog 

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It is wonderful to have an occasion to get together with others, just to celebrate all we have to be grateful for. Originally the holiday focused on gratitude for food and physical survival, which was greatly assisted by the native Americans who helped the pilgrims survive in this new land. Today, most Americans don't have to worry about regular access to food. While the holiday still focuses on the sharing of a great meal, the real gratitude celebration I see is that of friends and family - community.

In these times of busy schedules, fast food, long distance relationships, and globalization, it can get awfully impersonal out there. How many of you live in the same state you went to high school in? My friends and family are scattered all over the world. That's fine, but how much more precious that makes every chance for heartful connection with those in our current community.

Tonight I will finally stop working (which I have been doing all day) and take some organic vegetables I'll prepare up to Bamboo Mountain Sanctuary to share with friends. After dinner we will sing and play music. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, here is wishing you a most warm and beautiful holiday. May you truly feel your abundance.

How You Decide To See

Bharat Chopra creatively teaches the power of perspective in his parallel posts about a given day viewed from two different frames of mind. Take a look at his horrendous day and his great day, and keep in mind that he is referring to the same day!

Sometimes showing is much more powerful than telling. Kudos to Bharat for pulling it off.

Tags: Misc, Insight

Put the big rocks in first

Talking about exercises, meditation, yoga etc, we frequently hear people say: "I just wish my life is not so busy. When I have finished my degree, work project, painting the house...I'll start doing exercises, meditation, yoga...

More often than not, when we finish one project, another one follows. That day when we finally have enough spare time to do the things we wanted to do always seem so distant. Here, I would like to share with you the following story. When I read it, it made me realise that time is never the issue.

One day an expert on the subject of time management was speaking to a group of business students and to drive home a point used an illustration those students will never forget. As this man stood at the front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, 'Okay, time for a quiz.'

Then he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set it on a table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them into the jar, one at a time. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, 'is this jar full?'

Everone in the class said, 'Yes.' Then he said, 'Really?' he reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work down into the spaces between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, 'Is the jar full?'

By this time the class was onto him. 'Probably not,' one of them answered.

'Good!' he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in and it went into all the spaces left between the rocks and gravel. Once more he asked the question, 'Is this jar full?'

'No!' the class shouted.

Once again he said, 'Good!' Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked up at the class and asked, 'What is the point of this illustration?'

One eager beaver raised his hand and said, 'The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard, you can always fit some more things into it!'

'No,' the speaker replied, 'that's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: 'if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all.'

- quoted in Stephen Covey First Things First

What I've learnt from this story is the importance of prioritising. No matter how busy we are, the thing is, time is very generous and fair to everyone, as we all have 24 hours a week and seven days a week. Nobody can save it for future use and nobody is given more time than others. I don't believe that time is ever the issue that stops us from exercising, praying, meditation etc. Rather, the problem is how much we value them. The fact is that, if we haven't done it already, it's simply means it's not important for us to do it yet. In other words, they are not the 'big rocks' in our lives, and not worth putting into the jar of our lives in the first place.

Start to think now, what's important for you and what's not. Once you've sorted out your list of priority, I am sure you will not complain that you can't find time to do the things you want to do. Instead, you will surprise yourself as to how much more 'content' you can still add to your jar!

buddhist bowing practice

one of the beautiful traditions in buddhist practice is bowing. i thought i'd share some of the reasons why bowing resonates with me, and how it cultivates peace, love, and gratitude within me. there are two types of bows. one is a half bow combined with gassho (hands together similar to namaste), and the other is a full bow to the floor.

in a half bow a person puts their two hands together in gassho, and bows at the waist lowering the head. this is used in zen practice all the time: when a person enters a zendo, faces their meditation cushion or the altar, before walking meditation, as a greeting, almost any time it feels right. the meaning of this is to communicate gratitude and to show recognition of the buddha nature within all of us.

lately i find myself spontaneously moved to bow to all kinds of people througout my day. i find this practice so beautiful, and so moving. i also know, from having people at the zendo bow to me, how powerful it is to be the recipient of a bow. it is like someone is acknowledging your deepest goodness, and giving you heartfelt respect. how infrequently does this type of thing happen in our culture? almost never. imagine if we all went around bowing to each other.

the other type of bow is more formal. one begins with the hands together in gassho and does a half bow, then continues down to a kneeling position. then the forehead touches the floor and both palms are raised upward, symbolizing the lifting up of one's buddha nature (or one's essential goodness). the act of touching the forehead to the floor is a way of symbolizing surrender of the ego. it also gives one a connection to the earth.

thich nhat hanh beautifully describes a full bow this way: we are individual waves on the water, but we are also the entirety of water. when we bow down we acknowledge our essential nature as water, surrendering to whatever form the water wants us to take. for me it is a way of touching that which is universal in me, and putting aside that which is individual.

i believe both of these practices help to inspire respect, gratitude, and an acknowledgement of our essential nature. and with this post i send out many, many bows to everyone!

Good News 11/10/05

Colleen Paulson (name changed) was worried about her young son. Only 5 years old, he had been suspended from his school bus for fighting and was about to be left back in kindergarten. Asked about his troubling behavior, the boy's tearful response was, "Nobody loves me."

As the 2004-05 school year ended, Colleen and her husband began searching for alternatives. Their older child had been put in small special education classes in her early years and was now thriving in regular junior high classes. But small special education classes were eliminated by new legislation and years later the young Paulson son was unable to get such personal attention. Yet the Paulsons did not have the income to put him in a private school either.

Reaching out to others, Colleen began talking to friends and extended family about her predicament. What would happen to her son when he grew up if he had a childhood of school failure and behavior problems? And being left back would only make him even bigger than the other children who were already picking on him for being "different." Now was the critical time to make a change and give him a real chance in life.

In response to Colleen's distress, many people around the country began praying for the boy and his family. Some wrote poems. Others sent "white light" affirmations. Each trying to offer their support in their own way.

A few weeks before the new school year began, a co-worker of Colleen's learned of the situation and told her about a small, spiritually focused school just blocks from where Colleen worked. Colleen still worried about being able to pay for her son's attendance, but there was no reason to worry. The school gave him a scholarship and he was admitted at no cost to the struggling parents!

Now the little boy is thriving in his new environment. He is the delight of his teachers and is doing satisfactory work to progress. His mother is able to take him to school each day so that he doesn't face the overwhelming magnitude of the large school busses he used to ride, but sometimes she lets him ride the small busses of his new school anyway, just so that he can get used to the experience of being with the other children on the ride in a gradual way. He no longer gets into fights and is learning to talk to adults when he has conflict with other children.

With hope, commitment, and the ability to be vulnerable and ask for help, the Paulsons have secured a good education foundation for their son. And we consider that to be very good news.

tags: Good News, News, Education

The Mandalas We Share

Within Buddhism and Hinduism, the word "mandala" refers to a geometric design that symbolizes the universe. Above is a mandala I created in Photoshop by transforming a photograph of water that had prayers of love and gratitude directed at it. How does it feel when you look at it?

In Dr. Masaru Emoto's ground breaking book, The Hidden Messages in Water, he presents incredible research he has done using high speed photography to capture images of water as it freezes. He has been able to reveal how the microscopic structure of water is affected by human thoughts towards it. His work demonstrates that harmonious, loving thoughts create healthy, harmonious patterns within the physical structure of water, while hateful and negative thoughts create disharmony and "broken off" areas that are very similar to the way cancer seems to function in the human body.

Given that you and everyone around you is composed of 45-50% water (depending on age and gender), it should not be surprising that your prayers for yourself and others can actually heal. So offer thoughts of love and gratitude to those around you. Remind yourself again and again of the beauty of life. Focus on what is good and healthy in the people you encounter instead of focusing on their short-comings. And see yourself as what is best in you too. When we are clear in intent, we can share together in a mandala of bliss.

watering the seeds

i just want to begin by saying thank you to indigo ocean for having the initiative to start this website. for me writing (and reading) these entries are about watering the seeds of joy, compassion, and peace. i am deeply influenced by the teachings of thich nhat hanh. he often speaks about the seeds that we have in our consciousness---the seeds of anger, violence, jealousy, greed, love, peace, kindness, empathy. it's all there. no one of us is any different. the good is right there along with the bad.

if we water the seeds of violence, pessimism, judgement, and competition---as it is so easy to do by just turning on the tv or reading the newspaper---that is what will grow within us and within our culture. so i make it a part of my daily practice to be mindful of what seeds i am nurturing. there are opportunities every minute to cultivate peace. as thich nhat hanh says, peace is every step. can we see this? can we train ourselves to not give into the seductiveness of watering the negative seeds in our consciousness? that is what mindful living is about for me, and i am excited that this website will play a part in that.

Joy

"Ordinary happiness depends on happenstance. Joy is that extraordinary happiness that is independent of what happens to us. Good luck can make us happy, but it cannot give us lasting joy. The root of joy is gratefulness. We tend to misunderstand the link between joy and gratefulness. We notice that joyful people are grateful and suppose that they are grateful for their joy. But the reverse is true: their joy springs from gratefulness. If one has all the good luck in the world, but takes it for granted, it will not give one joy. Yet even bad luck will give joy to those who manage to be grateful for it. We hold the key to lasting happiness in our own hands. For it is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful." -- From "Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer," by Brother David Steindl-Rast

I wanted to share this with you because I found it really beautiful. I would phrase it a little differently, but I agree the with main idea. Gratitude is a part of accepting what is. You can't be grateful if you are at war with the present moment. And you can't be joyful that way either.

Embracing the present moment, just as it is, no matter whether its contents fit our ideas about what we want to be... that is the key to unconditional happiness. And that is my prayer for you - right now.

We cannot move away - only towards

I am not too sure if you pay attention to people's conversations or not. Talking about what we want in life, I hear these often:

I wish I weren't poor;
My parents will never understand me;
I don't want to be fat;
I don't want to get married as most marriages fail;
I wish I didn't have to work for a living;
I do not believe in love any more as it hurts too much;
I can never afford to fly first-class
...

Have you noticed one thing in common in these kind of talk? I have. Which is, they all focus on the "don'ts". In other words, they focus on the negative sides, not the positive sides. Have you wondered why people talk in this way? I think it's because it feels safer to focus on the "don'ts" rather than the "dos" and "don'ts" give us enough execuses for the bad things that happen to us.

It seems a natural tendency that we would rather move away, than move towards. It's natural to want to hold onto what we feel comfortable with; yet it's also natural that most people get nowhere near what they want in life under this 'move away' approach. In order to achieve our goals, the only way is to move towards them. Moving away solves no problem and offers no consolation. Ponder these:

If we distance our parents because we don't think they understand us, we are not getting any closer to what we want - understanding parents;

If we move away from the risks of investments, our money won't grow;

If we move away from relationships or marriage, we are not gaining love, companionship and wholeness;

If we don't want to be fat, we are not becoming slim;

If we don't want to be poor, we are not becoming rich;
...

Have you noticed that the 'move away' approach is a weakening and debilitating? It breeds unacceptance, avoidance, withdrawal, non-action and day-dreaming. On the other hand, the 'move towards' approach is goal-oriented, action-based and reward-led approach. It gives perspective to what we want, and open up all sorts of possibilities and avenues. It transforms our thoughts into motion. The thought "I wish I weren't poor" gives us no power; but if we picture in our minds of the house we want, the holidays we desire and the sort of income we need to sustain such a lifestyle, think rich, act rich, work rich, talk like a rich person, read rich people's stories, read materials on being rich, make adjustments in our lives and make a bargain with life about what we are willing to give in exchange of what we expect to get...we'll be closer and closer to becoming rich as all the possibilities and opportunities come up.

It is the same with relationships. If we focus on "marriage doesn't work," we will unconsciously pick up and collect all the stories from magazines, movies, friends and colleagues on unhappy marriages to support our thought style. The divorcing rate, the affairs, news on family violence and family discord will catch our attention, yet the happy couples we see or hear wouldn't register in our minds as they don't support our belief system. When our thought-pattern is like this, it is difficult to have a happy relationship.

If you want to live a happy and fulfilled life, you must understand that: you can't move away; you can only move towards. For example, you can't move away from road accident, you can only move towards safe driving. You can't move away from being poor, you can only move towards being rich. You can't move away from being fat, you can only move towards being slim. You can't move away from being unhappy, you can only move towards being happy...Move towards, everything will have a resolve.