The Goodness Blog 

Thoughts for a Sunday Morning

When we let ourselves go into the quiet and we become still, is when we feel the bliss of the spirit. Having been to the place in our being, that is just our place, we know that we can find comfort and peace and it is worth the trip of the everyday experiences. It is what happens to us on a daily basis that teaches us what the moment is and when we have the opportunity to get into the peace of the moment then that is when euphoria enters our existence we can just be.

It is in this state of quiet that we acquire a knowing, a certainty, of our purpose here in this world. We have all had these moments in our lives and with practice of sitting in the stillness and being in the quiet that we can let our thoughts come and go. We can fall into the gap in between the thoughts and feel the presence of that thing that has for us the calmness of no thing and the wisdom of all things.

We do not need to purchase anything to get there all we have to do is be. Just stand in awe of the wonders around and inside of us. Know that we are all things and that all things are us. Be one with the universe and let the journey continue.
A thought for a Sunday Morn.

Doing Good vs. Being Good

Many of us strive to be good people. When I first met my lama I told him how I wanted his help in overcoming some of my personality flaws. I said I wanted to try to be more patient, for example. His response was, "Don't try."

By that he did not mean, "Don't try... DO!" but rather, "Allow yourself to be as you are." There is an uncomplicated approach to awakening that he leads his students along, and it involves many good deeds, but no one who is there to be good.

As long as you are being "good" you have adopted a label that must now define you. You have identified yourself with a role you must now act in accord with. You have an image to live up to, if only to yourself. Such a role can only limit you, however favorable it may at first appear. Whether the role of the greedy, dishonest businesswoman or that of the self-sacrificing, single mother -- it's all false and it's all limiting. Any of it hides your true light, which shines beyond any script our egos could devise.

Let your true light shine and you won't need to play the part of the good one. Rest in your true being. When you are angry, be angry. When you are smiling, smile. When you are walking, just walk.

Goodness is an aspect of your true being. When you see yourself acting in a way that doesn't seem desirable to you, just recognize the behavior as the habitual display of your worldly conditioning and nothing more. Don't get caught up in judging yourself and punishing yourself for being as people are within samsara, by the very nature of samsara. Don't take it personally.

Similarly, when you see yourself behaving with generosity or some virtue, don't take that personally either. Instead look to see where it is coming from. If it seems to be arising spontaneously from your true nature, recognize that as yourself. If it seems to be coming from a sense of trying to be a good girl or a good boy, then recognize that conditioning in you. (And probably also notice some fear of punishment that comes along with it if you aren't "good enough.") Just watch it. Don't mess with it. Don't try to be better at not trying to be good.

Recognizing the difference between being good and doing good will give you the confidence you need to simply watch yourself play out your roles again and again within the flow of your life, without feeling the compulsion to interfere. This uncomplicated self-awareness is enough to bring you repeated glimpses of freedom.

Over time, this freedom of being will become a habit. Eventually you will not have to remind yourself, "I must watch and be detached, yet attentive." Non-judgmental attentiveness will come naturally to you.

And you will never take life personally. Instead you will recognize everything as the display of either nirvana or samsara, depending on which happens to be pulling the strings of your "puppet-experience" in a given moment. Yet you will remain beyond it all, as the nirvana within the samsara of each passing moment.

our good hearts

the winter 2005 issue of buddhadharma contains a discussion between pema chodron and jack kornfield that has some very interesting points relating to goodness. so naturally i thought they would make an apt post for this blog. pema chodron points out that buddhists believe "that every living being has basic goodness, and we can communicate with each other from that place..." she goes on to say that "the goal must be to talk to one another from the point of view of each other's good heart."

this is probably one of the most important things i can put into practice. i have a very strong habit energy of assuming the worst about people. but in spite of this, i have faith that at the core of every person is a basic goodness. i have been in tense situations that have been turned around by this recognition---by communicating with what trungpa rinpoche calls the "soft spot."

this past thanksgiving was one of those times. one of the younger cousins, a nine-year-old girl named b. frequently exhibits behavior that can only be described as surly. it didn't help that on that day she used a disrespectful tone with me, and formed a "club" that excluded my daughter. so there i was with my habit energies saying to myself that b. is an unkind little girl. but then later that day i found myself alone with her. my in-laws were fostering some puppies and b. was playing with them. she and i were chatting and i began to see the soft spot. a really sweet, soft spot. it was a warm and beautiful interaction helped by our animal friends.

i thought that is the place i need to focus on when i communicate with her in the future. i don't know why she behaves as she does because i only see her a few times a year, but from now on in my dealings with her i'm going right for the soft spot. i think people sense when you are doing this and really respond to it. it's amazing what can happen.